


boys

by zhuzhubi



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Spencer Reid, Fluff, Gay Panic, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, but really not that much its mostly just Reid being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25456936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhuzhubi/pseuds/zhuzhubi
Summary: But the case itself isn’t what stuck with me - it was SSA Elliot Lim and his stupid smirk and his stupid over-confidence, and his stupid hair and stupid perfect jawline and beautiful expressive eyebrows -...(or, omc causes reid to experience *gay panic*)
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 123





	boys

**Author's Note:**

> posted on tumblr as male!reader x reid, if that's more your cup of tea (im @zhuzhubii)

The first time we met was on a joint case between the BAU and the Fugitive Task Force - an escaped killer had started going on a spree with a completely different MO (we eventually realized he was actually the submissive half of a team. His partner - the more sophisticated and restrained one of the two, and who had kept him in check the first time around - had skipped town the second the submissive got arrested. Newly escaped, and with no one reigning in his volatility, he didn’t bother to plan out the kills like the dominant had).

But the case itself isn’t what stuck with me - it was SSA Elliot Lim and his stupid smirk and his stupid over-confidence, and his stupid hair and stupid perfect jawline and beautiful expressive eyebrows -

_Stop that! You hate him!_

\- I hate him. He’s one of the most insufferable people I’ve ever met, and he’s intruding on my life when he saunters into the bullpen like nobody’s business even though we haven’t worked together since then. Who does he think he is, making nice with my friends? Rossi’s mentioned inviting him over for a team dinner the next time we get a chance, and what’s that all about!? He’s not part of the team, he doesn’t belong at _team_ dinner! 

And it feels like he’s always around, too, it’s just ridiculous. It’s like he comes over to _our_ breakroom to get his coffee instead of using the perfectly good one on his own floor! And every time we’re there at the same time, he starts trying to chat with me. What right does he have to ask me about my day, or my hobbies, or my favorite restaurants? We’re not friends, SSA Elliot Lim, I don’t want to talk to you -

_Then why don’t you tell him that? I know you have alotta passive aggression tucked inside that wiry body of yours, why haven’t you been using it?_

\- I’m not really sure why I don’t tell him off. In fact, I’ve been much nicer to him than I am to most (relative) strangers. One time, he gave me a pat on the arm, and I didn’t flinch away - which is totally out of character for me! It took me years to be comfortable with Morgan and JJ and Garcia doing that and I’ve only known Lim for a few months -

_Increased physical affection can be a sign of attraction, along with sustained eye-contact and dilated pupils_

\- Nope! Nope nope nopity _nope,_ stopping that right there. I’m not attracted to him (I like women! I’ve dated women, and I’ve been attracted to them both romantically and sexually, I definitely like women), I hate him. He’s annoying and he’s stealing my friends, end of story.

…

I’m over at JJ’s for brunch one Sunday when -

“Oh! I just remembered, Henry’s friend Diego and his moms are coming over in about…thirty minutes? I hope that’s okay, Henry’s been wanting to have a play-date all week, so I thought I’d just invite them over for brunch since you were coming, too?”

I’m a little surprised - I’ve never really interacted with her friends from outside the team besides passing conversation and Henry’s birthday parties - but I’m always amiable to anything that makes my godson happy (okay, I’ll be honest. I’m a bit of a pushover when it comes to Henry).

“Yeah, of course that’s okay! Is Diego the one that wore the Spiderman costume to Henry’s party last year?”

JJ chuckles, “yup, that’s him. He prefers the Hulk now, but his moms have managed to resist buying a Hulk costume so far, so.”

I can’t help but smile, little kids are so endearing sometimes. 

When Diego and his moms arrive - Monica and Eve - Henry comes speeding out from where he was situated on the couch, excited in the way only children let show. The boys immediately run off to play - I definitely heard something about the Hulk in their conversation, which is especially hilarious given how tiny both Henry and Diego are - and JJ leads us to the kitchen where Will is pouring mimosas (or in my case, orange juice with sparkling water - he knows I don’t drink). 

We start up an easy conversation - I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous about not knowing what to say (as I usually am). But then Monica mentioned her work in theoretical physics, and I mentioned my background in the related fields of mathematics and engineering, and how I had been considering a doctorate in physics before being recruited to the FBI. And somehow, over the course of our conversation, we ended up at

“Oh, I had a few relationships before Eve, but they were all with men. And nothing really serious or long term.”

“Oh! Um, are you…,” I trail off. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m trying to ask.

“A lesbian?” she finishes, “No, I’m bisexual. It took me a long time to realize it, though. It’s just easy to convince yourself you’re straight when you still have heterosexual crushes, I guess. And what about you, are you in a relationship?”

The question _and what about you?_ echoes in my ears. I realize she’s still waiting for a response, so I stutter out

“N-no. I mean, I’ve had a few _girlfriends_ , but it’s just hard with my job taking me out of state all the time,” and I can’t help but notice the subconscious way in which I emphasized the word _girlfriends_.

The boys come running into the kitchen after that, begging for me to teach them card tricks (Henry must’ve told Diego about me), so the conversation is left there. But, still, _and what about you?_ keeps bouncing around my brain -

 _What about you_ , Spencer, _what about you?_

…

I manage to push it aside until later that night when I’m lying in bed trying to sleep. I’ve spent some time reading about human sexuality - I know about all the research into homosexuality and bisexuality and pansexuality and so on - but I’ve never really put any consideration into my own.

It’s like Monica said earlier - I’m attracted to women, so I never spent any time considering whether or not I feel the same way about men. And now that I’m thinking about it, I realize I _have_ had crushes on men before; when Ethan jumped ship it felt like _being broken up with_ , not losing a friend. 

I’m not entirely sure what to do with this information (and I’m certainly not ready yet to consider what it means about Elliot…), but I’ve sorted through my thoughts enough for them to have stopped racing, and I manage to drift off to sleep.

…

I start noticing Elliot even more after that - but he’s not annoying or arrogant or any of those things. He’s actually really nice to talk to - he sat through a 20 minute deluge of information about the newest research in arachnids, and he seemed genuinely interested in it! (Or maybe he was just interested in listening to me talk.) 

And I realized I like listening to him talk, too, even when it’s about something that wouldn’t usually interest me. Apparently I was mistaking the nagging feeling in my chest for _annoyance_ when it was actually _attraction_ , who knew? 

Anyway, I start to notice the way he stands a little closer to me than is strictly necessary, and how he spends more time near me than anyone else when he’s visiting our bullpen. His cheeks flush a little when I’m talking to him, and his pupils dilate slightly - obvious signs of attraction that my subconscious had noticed, but I had refused to recognize. 

About a month after I came to the startling realizing about being bisexual, I walk into the break room to find him fiddling with the coffee machine.

“Good morning, Elliot,” I say as I reach into the cupboard for my coffee mug, only to find he’s already taken it out, “is that my mug?”

His cheeks flush (and it’s so cute), “Oh! Yeah, I thought I’d bring you a cup since I was making mine anyway.”

“Thank you,” I say. Then, mustering up some courage (there may be obvious signs of attraction, but even geniuses can be wrong!), “Have you been flirting with me?”

Now his face is completely red. He lets out a nervous chuckle, “um, yeah I-I have been, but I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable! I don’t want you to feel like - “

“No! It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, I was just nervous I was reading things wrong,” I’m blushing now too, and I take a deep breath to collect myself, “Do you wanna…get coffee sometime? I mean, I know we’re having coffee now, and it was really nice of you to make mine for me, but I mean like…go out for coffee? Maybe this weekend if we’re both free?”

He looks stunned for a second before breaking out into a grin, “yeah, yeah! That sounds great! There’s this new bakery I think you’d like? They have coffee and fresh pastries, and I know you like sweets, so…”

My nervousness melts into relief and excitement - he wants to go out with me! - “yeah, I have a serious sweet-tooth. Um, so this weekend?”

He nods eagerly, “let’s hope the unsubs don’t ruin it for us.”

…

They don’t (the date is fantastic). 

…

_“So you know Elliot Lim, from the Fugitive Task Force? I’ve kinda been seeing him for a little over a month now?”_

_“Oh thank god, I was beginning to worry you’d never realize he was flirting with you.”_

_“What.”_

_“Pretty boy, you guys have been making eyes at each other since you met. It’s about damn time.”_

_“What!?”_

_“I’ve been inviting him to team dinner in hopes that spending more time with him would help you pull your head out of your ass.”_

_“I can’t believe this.”_

_“I even asked Monica, one of Diego’s moms, to talk to you about it.”_

_“JJ, not you too!”_

_“Enough of that, all of you, you’re embarrassing him! Boy genius, I’m so happy for you!”_

_“Um. Thanks? I think?”_


End file.
